The Writing Life

As you may know, I am endlessly curious about the forces at play in our creative process. My whole life is dedicated to this – conversations with coaching clients, writing books about it, and being an ardent student of my own process. 

The thing that fascinates me most is resistance. Why oh why do we resist the thing we say we want to do – write? I’ve got my theories about why, and as a coach, I’m actually more interested in what we do with it. We can ponder and wonder all day long, but unless that gets us into action, I’ve got limited time to just think about it. 

One thing that gets me into action is having social accountability. Writing my novel in November was a lot easier because I had told people I would do it. For me, this was an iron-clad promise not to others but to myself. 

Another thing that helps me show up is a recurring date. Every Thursday, I show up at 8:00 to write. It’s not that I am so structured and disciplined; again, it’s because others are meeting with me too. 

Last year, I hosted and participated in 45 Impulse Writing Club sessions. I had to miss two because of work travel, and the other five weeks were weeks off. 

When I set these sessions up in the fall of 2021, I had no idea how fun they would be. The simplicity of it – three timed writing sessions – made it easy to slip into the writing zone. I used the time to write various things: two book drafts, articles for my newsletter, personal journaling and more. Members of the Impulse Writing Club report these experiences after our sessions:

Of course, we all experience a range of things over the course of our 16 weeks of writing together. Overall, it’s quite a positive and productive time. 

If you want to write more this year, I think you’ll love the Impulse Writing Club. Please join us to write weekly. We start on January 12th. All the information is here. 

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I’m going to start the new year with total transparency about why I teach and coach people to write. 

Because writing, well, it’s a fool’s journey. The work is difficult, chances at fame and monetary success are slim. Friends and family doubt why you spend so much time working on something that doesn’t pay you back. Even you sometimes wonder if you’re crazy. 

I know this. I’m not a pollyanna coach pretending ‘it’s all good’. I’m taking a stand for each and every one of us who wants to write. 

Because writing pays you back. I’ve seen it again and again. 

I believe if you have the impulse to write, you must follow it. Despite all evidence and advice against writing as a way to be a happy, sane person, I believe that giving in to the impulse to pen something is the very stuff of life itself. 

In my writing classes, I often give the prompt ‘I write because’. Writing for 15 minutes on this topic is often enough to plug someone into their motivation to write. A writing practice that is satisfying follows from there.

If you’re someone who has been sitting on her hands, hiding her voice and not writing, I offer nine reasons why you must write. 

Because it feels good. If you’ve ever caught the groove of the keyboard or pen across the page, you’ll know the breathless exhilaration writing can give. You can do that to yourself without spending any money?! Creative jollies for free! Who wouldn’t take that up?

Because you have something to say. Author Brenda Ueland says “Everyone is talented, original and has something important to say.” Believe it’s worth your time to get words on the page. 

Because you’re curious to see what emerges from your pen and heart. And that curiosity must be satisfied for you to feel right in the world.

Because writing introduces you to your true self. Writing offers a transformative process similar to sharing with a friend or counselor. When you write, you may feel a sense of being heard – by yourself, at least. And aren’t you the one you most need to know and trust? 

Because knowing yourself leads to positive changes in your life. You can’t help but notice the dusty corners of your psyche that need tidying up and the things you can no longer tolerate. Taking up the pen is taking up the sword in defense of a life you actually want to live.

Because it’s fun. Often in free writing, fictional stories will emerge from our pens. Free writing frees us to explore, play and enjoy a limitless freedom of our imagination. This is the giggly part of writing; not to be missed. 

Because you get to be free. You deserve to live without the weight of procrastination. Instead, you get to feel the exhilaration of your own creative flow. You get to move, and do things and share your world through your words. 

Because it’s good to express ourselves. I was in the audience at a conference when Brene Brown said “unexpressed creativity is not a benign force’. Tears flowed down my face. I’d known all along that our creativity is as vital to our health as is good food and exercise. To hear it validated by a researcher added wind to my wings.

Because you can. Freedom of speech is no small boon – take it and use it.  

Add your own tenth reason for writing. Set a timer for 10 minutes, and using the prompt I write because…write your heart out.

When asked what I do, I reply, “ I help people write books.” I’ve learned to super-simplify it, because I can’t go around firehosing people with “I’m an author, artist and coach who teaches people how to know, love and trust their process. I also lead creativity retreats in Paris and teach workshops online.” I’m exhausted trying to list all the things I do! 

But ‘help people write books’ doesn’t tell the full story of how I help my clients bring their ideas into form and into the world. In this article, I’ll open the kimono to show what, specifically, my book coaching can look like. We’ll walk through some of the ways I coached Paula Preschelack to write, publish, and promote her book. 

I love coaching Paula Preschlack. She’s a skilled, seasoned writer who wrangled her professional ideas and insights into a book that will reach millions. This year was ready to find a publisher. This is not an easy feat.

But Paula achieved what I consider the equivalent of getting an Olympic Gold Medal: she landed a book deal with an independent press. Chicago Review Press signed on to publish Paula’s non-fiction book, The Montessori Potential: How to Foster Indepence, Respect, and Joy and in Every Child. And, Paula signed an audiobook deal, too! Paula’s book comes out in February, 2023. 

I couldn’t be happier for her. I’m doing a victory lap for all her success; I know how hard she’s worked on this project. Here’s what brought us to this place. 

We’ve been working on her book for several years. I coached Paula through many drafts and life changes. We celebrated her new author life when she transitioned out of her career as head of school at a Montessori school into full-time writing and speaking. A coaching relationship with me is not just about getting things done. It’s much more than having someone you’re accountable to. 

Together we’ve worked through the following: 

How to write organize the material in her book This takes a lot of time and thought. Knowing what belongs in the book is one thing. Structuring the writing in a way that honors the material and the author’s style and voice is another piece. 

How to manage a busy life and stay focused on her book  This is a perennial subject that needs regular focus. There is no ‘normal’ week. Life is dynamic, throwing random things into the mix regularly. Often, we think we’ll have the same writing routine every week. But Paula learned she needed to be flexible and an ardent opportunist if she didn’t want life to overtake her writing goals. Every author will have to renew their commitment again and again. 

Transitioning out of her former career and into her writing career  This was a big life change. While she was ready for it, the change called for a lot of support. The emotional labor involved in a career shift is significant. I helped Paula process the feelings around all she was leaving and all she was moving toward. 

How to structure her time and energy as a writer and speaker I helped Paula think about the bigger picture of her career as an author. Once we identified what she wanted that to look like, we focused on both practical matters and mindset shifts required to go from employee to self-employed. 

Developing systems for her new work life  It was fun to help Paula design her work systems according to her specific writing goals. Taking time to set things up in a way that would work for her, rather than just adopting processes willy nilly, set Paula up for years to come. 

Writing pitch materials to get a publisher  This is a tough part of the author process. A writer has to shift from the person producing the writing to the person promoting the writing. Sales writing is a different animal. We spent a lot of time specifying the language she used that would convey the message of her book. 

Developing talking points around her book Paula is a seasoned speaker but needed help narrowing down a few topics she could discuss with the media. My feedback on her ideas helped to crystallize the most compelling points. 

Navigating the ups and downs of pitching a book  After the proposal and query letter are written, there’s the roller coaster ride of seeking the right agent and publisher. Then there’s the sending and waiting…and waiting. It’s emotionally challenging, and it helped Paula to have someone who understood the process. 

Celebrating a book deal with an independent publisher This is the moment she’d been working toward for years. Of course her family and friends acknowledged this big moment. I helped Paula to really appreciate her efforts and everything she had done to bring her to this point. 

Strategizing her book launch  Paula already has great contacts in the Montessori world. She’s a sought-after speaker and had several keynote speeches booked. I helped her strategize the pre-and post-launch tasks that would help her get the word out about her book. 

Helping Paula lean into her skills and gifts  Paula is a natural connector. While any publishing pro will tell an author they need to have a platform or public presence, I invited Paula to focus elsewhere first. I believed her vast network could be engaged to help her promote the book. She’s using her natural gifts to reach out, stay connected, and meet new people who will be interested in her book. We worked on setting up systems to make staying in touch easier. 

Developing a social media strategy Paula hadn’t spent much time on social media and didn’t know where to start. I encouraged her to sign up for a class that had helped me a lot. Now, she is active on several platforms and is doing a great job of bringing her message and personality into her posts. It turns out she’s a natural and her dog Louis makes regular appearances to help people get a feel for Paula’s sense of humor and style. 

There’s much more, but that’s the bulk of how Paula and I worked together. On a recent coaching session, Paula acknowledged my coaching skills. She said, “You really have a unique combination of gifts. You understand the needs of the creative person and your thinking is very organized. You manage to help me put order to all of my ideas. Most people have one skillset or the other. You’re both – creative and organized. I couldn’t have done all this without you.”

I love hearing that my work makes all the difference for a smart, experienced person like Paula. My 1:1 coaching has a much larger impact when a book like Paula’s makes its way into the world. 

The Montessori Potential gives Paula a chance to expand her passion beyond the school she helped to lead and develop. This book seeks to help demystify what Montessori education is and why it’s so effective. Find out more about Paula’s work and order a copy of her book here. 

Learn about how you can get on my coaching roster and bring your great ideas into the world here. 

Treat your writer self – and a friend – to these gifts for writers. These treats make it easy to gift your writer what they need to be happily productive next year and beyond.

The Busy Woman’s Guide to Writing a World-Changing Book is the complete step-by-step approach to getting your book out of your head and onto the page. It’s not just for women!

Chasing Sylvia Beach will take you straight to Paris. Perfect for lovers of historical fiction and bibliophiles, this novel is great holiday escape reading. And, book groups love it; invite me to join your discussion virtually.

 

 

Perhaps you’d like my art on objects to inspire your home and studio. My notebooks make a great gift.

The Writer’s Manifesto gives ready inspiration when you don’t feel up to writing. It’s available as prints and on select objects.

I’ve just topped 40,000 words on the novel I’m writing. My goal is 50,000. I’d hoped to reach that deadline before I leave for London tomorrow. Alas, it was too ambitious of a goal* for me. 

I realized I wouldn’t achieve the goal about a week ago. It would be easy to go limp and give up entirely. Like if you miss a day, your focus goes ‘poof,’ and you abandon the goal entirely. 

But I don’t operate that way. Deadlines give me incredible focus and commitment. They help me prioritize the project, no matter what is happening in my life. I share this approach with my clients to great effect. Don’t get me wrong – there have been times when I have had to abandon a project due to life’s other plans.

I am confident I will meet my bigger goal of 50,000 words by December 1st. I have five more days after I get home. With only 10,000 words to write, that is completely doable, even with jet lag. I had the image of celebrating a complete draft in London. But no sweat. I will still celebrate those 40,000 words. 

Here’s the approach that works for my clients and me. 

Use upcoming trips, holidays, guests or other ‘disruptions’ to your routine to accelerate your focus. The question I ask my clients is this: “Where do you want to be with your project when you head out of the office/receive guests/start a new job?” This galvanizes their imagination and commitment. The disruption becomes less a reason to bail and more an ally to help them focus. 

By keeping my word to myself to write daily since October 20, I’ve gained an enormous amount of self-trust and confidence. Every day I write, I signal to myself that despite all my doubts and insecurities, this project matters. 

I leave the project with a clear sense of where I will pick it up upon return. 

I trust the break will give me the perfect amount of distance and perspective. This will enhance the writing and improve the quality of the novel. 

I don’t expect to write on the trip. While it would be nice to write on the airplane – nine uninterrupted hours – I know myself. I love to leave it all behind. I love the space and freedom I feel on a long-distance flight. I may read Story Genius by Lisa Cron. I may read an novel. This is ‘off’ time and I have the freedom to enjoy the vacation.

What I want most to convey to you is this sense of how I hold a deadline. I take it seriously, and it galvanizes my focus. But when/if I don’t achieve that goal, it’s not a problem. I know I have done everything I can to get there. I simply set a new deadline and reset the focus. 

*I don’t typically go for ‘write your book in an unreasonably short period of time’. Getting a book from idea to print takes time. Writing and revising is not a speedy medium. But to accelerate focus and get a shaggy draft out quickly, NaNoWriMo is handy. 

Do you use trips or other ‘disruptions’ to work in your favor? Share your experience below.