You’re riding the wave of creative fulfillment with a project, getting it done and feeling great about it. Then you turn a corner and find yourself in a dark cul de sac of doubt. Your joy is replaced with questions:
- Will anyone care about this?
- Is this any good?
- Wouldn’t it be better to just drop it and relax a bit?
If you’re like me, this happens on almost every project, and especially on the ones that feel particularly vulnerable or meaningful.
I have been circling in the cul de sac of doubt with my latest project, my annual review. I’ve been working on it steadily for the last few weeks and am approaching the final 20% of the writing.
This last part of any creative process is always plagued with these doubts. We’re faced with our limitations and fears and it seems like such a better idea to just ditch the thing like a bad cold.
Even though I have been here many times, the fears seem as potent as always. Even though I know better than to abandon something this close to the finish line, it’s oh so tempting.
Here’s what I am doing to cope with the cul de sac of doubt:
- I move between working on the writing and working on gathering the visual images
- I take myself to various cafés to work on the writing helps me stay focused on the project
- I ask myself what could improve the writing, challenging myself to make an even better product.
And finally, I recommitted to finishing the project. When we want to ditch something, it’s offering us a chance to re-center ourselves on why we are doing it. I decided that I was going to finish the annual review to the best of my ability and put it out there in mid-December as planned.
The fears and doubts will still be there, stronger than ever as I approach the publication date. I know that. But I will not let my inner critic and fears decide what I do and what I create. I hope you don’t, either. Keep going until the joyful end.
Oh, Cynthia – you just nailed exactly where I am right now! I’m posting my blog a day late and beating myself up about it. Thanks so much for articulating the floaty wispy negatiods in my brain. When I see it on paper, it takes the power away. You’re the best!
Debra,
I hope this helped you stop beating yourself up and post your blog! It’s okay if it’s a day late!
Remember, you are your blog boss – be a good one, one you want to work with.
So glad this sparked something in you. 🙂
Thanks for these “confessions of the soul,” Cynthia. Wow, I need a little push now and then to stay on course – and you seem to have the right timing on that. I like the way you open yourself, make yourself vulnerable. That’s human and that’s real and relatable. Thank you for all that you do. You are so very special.
Dana
Thank you, Dana! It seems like when I write my articles from what’s happening for me now, they resonate with others more. We really are all in this together!
I appreciate your support and also all your efforts to do your own writing. It’s not easy, I know. But it’s well worth it.
Thank you!
Cynthia, I so admire you for doing this project in particular. You have to expose so much of yourself, your hopes, your dreams, your disappointments. I find it hard enough to do a year-end review for just myself.
Thank you, Donna! It gets more and more difficult the closer I come to publishing. Every day I think I should abandon it. But I know I need to plunge forward for my own integrity. I can’t abandon the project now!
I appreciate you taking the time to comment, and I do hope you do your own year-end review for yourself at least. It’s empowering!