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The Writing Life

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Earning Your A

Writers and other creative types are often notoriously hard on ourselves. Yes, I got published, but they didn’t pay much, you’ll hear. Or, sure I got a show, but it isn’t a solo show. Dissatisfaction is the bane of the creative’s existence.

It could be said that dissatisfaction drives the creative type to keep creating. If we were perfectly content with the world, we wouldn’t have to make anything new, would we?

Yet, this cranky perspective can also keep us from really enjoying the process of producing art. In The Art of Possibility, Benjamin Zander shares this exercise for banishing the ‘not good enough’ demons that haunt us. It’s called Earning Your A.
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Befriend Creative Fear

One final post about how to deal with the fear of creating.

Fear looms large in our minds as a block to our writing. Countless clients and students have come to me, clutching their fear baggage, hoping that I have strategies to overturn the fear and release them to create easily. While I do help others deal with fear, it’s not in the way you may think.

  • I don’t take each fear, one by one, line them up, and shoot them down with my brilliant logic. Fear is much too resilient for that.
  • I don’t dismiss fear with a wave of the hand and tell you to just buck up. That’s a short-term solution that won’t really stick.
  • I don’t ignore the fear and hope it will go away. Denial never gets us anywhere.
  • I don’t probe endlessly into the depths of fear, trying to understand why your first grade experience made you afraid of writing. That’s your therapist’s job.

Instead, I embrace fear. I relish it. I take my fear baggage by the handle and embark on the journey, baggage and all. I invite you to do the same.

In order to shift to this perspective, you have to become a person who wants to live a really juicy, powerful life. You have to want to overcome obstacles, desire opportunities that reveal your sensitive underbelly to you, and relish chances to stretch beyond your capabilities.

I know that you are this person, because you are a writer. The need to discover, to explore, to learn and grow are all bundled into the writer’s curiosity. If you are not interested in these things, go hang wallpaper instead.

Writing is about life, the depths and the heights. It’s about exploring and shaking things up. It’s about loosening the status quo and inventing new possibilities. Of course the fear beast is going to get riled up.  Make friends with your fear beast. Don’t expect the fear to go away and then you’ll be able to write that book, find that agent, sign up for that poetry reading. No, the fear comes with you.

Fear is a sign that you are ALIVE! Take the beating heart, the racing pulse, the sense of threat and danger as signs that you are living large. And isn’t that what you want?

If you are afraid, take it as a good sign that you are dancing at the edge of your life, that you are embracing the glory of being human, and that you are gathering the courage to take your fear by the hand and plunge straight toward what you want. It’s so much more exciting than avoiding your fear.

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Still Scared?

We’ve tackled some of the most common writing fears in this series on writing fears, but there may still be some lurking in the keyboard.

When I am coaching a client about her fears, I respond very differently than what I am writing here. In a one-one situation, I am able to ask questions that reveal the underlying truth for my client. From there she is able to take actions that are appropriate for her situation.

In this series, I am offering advice. You can take what applies to your situation, or leave it.

The following two fears are closely linked. I have found these to be very common for writers, and also very easy to move beyond.

Can’t choose among all your great ideas? Creative people are often flooded with inspiration. One idea comes and others quickly rush in to build upon it. This can feel great – the flush of exuberance and wonder as we revel in the possibilities. Like an effusive fireworks display, our ideas flare and fade if we can’t choose and bring them to the page. This pattern can erode our trust in ourselves that we can accomplish things, that we can bring our brilliance through to completion.

Solution: When inspiration arrives, make sure to capture it in a journal. Keep an ongoing list of things you want to write about. Use these questions to filter through and choose:

  • What is important about this idea for me right now?
  • If I had only one more month to write, which idea would I focus on?

Then choose one idea and follow it until it is complete. Become familiar with the phase of creation that follows the original impulse. Learn how you are when you are committed to a project. In my e-book, Cross the Finish Line: Five Steps to Leap Over Common Hurdles to Completion, I share several ways to effectively prioritize your projects so you finish them.

Afraid you won’t be able to complete work? This fear is a result of not being able to focus your creativity. When we live in the exciting flush of new ideas and potential, our confidence in being able to complete is underdeveloped. We don’t trust ourselves that we can complete something.

Solution: Choose one idea for a story or essay or whatever you wish to write. Choose a start date and a completion date. Choose a way to celebrate the completion, whether it is treating yourself to a special outing, buying yourself a new journal, or something luscious for you. Your goal may be to complete a draft of a story, to fill up a journal, to complete a chapter of your book. Give yourself permission to do it badly. Don’t worry about the quality yet, just focus on your intention to complete something.

Tell someone you trust what you are doing. Write a comment below to share your intention. Then, step by step work toward it. As other ideas come up, put them in your idea journal and stay with the project in front of you. Trust that you can complete work and enjoy the process of developing that muscle. There is a lot more involved in the process of completion but this should give you a place to start. For a step-by-step guide to completing, pick up a copy of Cross the Finish Line.

What has worked for you to get beyond these fears? Drop a comment below and stay tuned for more solutions for writing fears.

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More Fear Busting

This month I’m writing a series on writers’ fears and how to move beyond them. When I am coaching a client about their fears, I respond very differently than what I am writing here. In a one-one situation, I am able to ask questions that reveal the underlying truth for my client. From there she is able to take actions that are appropriate for her situation.

In this series, I am offering advice. You can take what applies to your situation, or leave it. Or use these solutions to approach and tame your fears. Do you harbor these fear beasts:

Is what I have to say is unique? It has all already been written. This is a very common fear, and with the glut of information in the world, it does seem to have some basis in fact. What can you add to the already full world?

Solution: A lot. This is where you, as a writer, are challenged to seek and express your unique voice. If you are writing on a common topic, look for how you can say it in a different way. Exploring your unique voice is an ongoing process. Here is an exercise to help. Start by looking at a few of your favorite writers. In your notebook, write the following:

  • Name
  • Genre
  • Topics
  • Voice

Then fill in the blanks with information about your favorite authors. For example:

  • Anne Lamott
  • Fiction/Personal Essay
  • Children, writing, life, spirituality
  • Her voice is honest, sharp, revealing, funny and inspirational.

Do this for a few authors so you get the feel of how you can identify voice. Then do this for yourself. Read some of your writing aloud and hear the patterns and tone of your writing voice. Get a sense of your unique qualities as a writer. You may wish to free write on this topic. And, to keep the faith, remember that you were given the gift of words and the inclination to write for a reason. You may not know the reason, but your job is to write anyway.

Do you fear being exposed and revealing yourself?  This is such a big deal because writing asks us to put ourselves on the line. When you write something down, it is more permanent, more out in the world, and open for interpretation. Often as a writer you can feel like a target.

Solution: You already are a target. You as a human being, are a magnet for all the good, bad and blissful that is out there. When I am coaching my clients to something big, they often imagine the worst case scenario. I invite them to imagine the best case scenario. So, rather than think, “No one will like my writing and thus no one will like me,” think, what if they loved my writing?

The underlying issue beneath this fear may be that we fundamentally want approval. If our writing is good, we are good. If a piece we wrote wins a contest, we are validated. Of course this is a natural human reaction. I challenge you to untie the threads that bind your self-esteem with your writing. This will be an ongoing process. But know that your work may be good and that does not mean you are good, and your work may be bad but that does not mean you are bad. Practice non-attachment.

Those two fears and their solutions should give you enough to chew on for the week. Enjoy releasing your fears and making room for writing. See you next Monday with more solutions for your writing fears.

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Tackling Your Creative Fears

These are scary times. But writers are very familiar with fear – it’s what blocks our creative aliveness. We’re constantly grappling with our fears of creating.

I may not be able to do anything about the widespread panic about the collapse of the global financial system, but I can help with writer’s block. I’m posting a series this month on busting through common writing fears. Check back every Monday for more solutions to common writing fears. Better yet, make it easy on yourself and subscribe to this blog. It’s easy – just use the subscribe button to the right.

Does the thought of writing make you quake in your slippers? You are not alone. Read on and see if you share some of the most common writing fears – and what you can do about them.

You won’t have anything to say. You do have something to say. Think about the last conversation you had. Did you put forth an opinion? Sure you did. If you are living and breathing, then you have something unique to say.

Solution:
Think about the things that make you say to yourself, “I should write about that.” Start gathering a list of these ticklers that prompt you to want to write. Use them to leap into the writing. Then, do the writing. You will soon see that you have plenty to say.

What will other people think? This is one of the biggest blocks to writing. You may want to write the stories from your past, and by doing so, you may experience catharsis and growth. But what about the other people in the story? You worry that you will hurt your friends or offend your families.

Solution:
My advice is to write the story anyway. Don’t even think about it being in print until you have a completed manuscript and are shopping for an editor or a magazine to publish it. If you don’t start, you will never know. You may decide after you have written it that you don’t want to seek publication. So take the handcuffs off and write the story first. Then worry about what others will think.

Afraid you don’t know how to write? Writing is a tricky art because we were all taught to write in school. We should know what we are doing when we try to craft a story, right? Wrong. The art of writing takes more than what we learned in seventh grade grammar.

Solution:
This is one of the easiest fears to tackle. You can take writing workshops. You can brush up on grammar and editing. You can use spell check or ask a writing buddy to read your work over for errors.

Assignment:
Take moment now to jot down some of your writing fears. Notice what happens when you write them. Do they appear to be more or less true now? What antidote pops up for you? Write your own antidote.

Have a writing fear that you want me to provide a solution for? Drop me a comment below.

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Creativity: Why Bother? 10 Benefits of Expressing Your Creativity

As a child, you may have yearned to play the piano professionally, to act on Broadway, to write a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel. Perhaps you mentioned your aspirations to someone and were met with laughter or the assurance that there was no money in it. You swallowed your creative dreams and satisfied yourself with listening to music on the radio, to reading books or watching movies.

How often have our creative selves been swept to the sidelines, to being the observer? We internalize the belief that we don’t have what it takes to make it big, and of course we don’t because we have hardly tried.

It’s time to go for it. There is no proof that you will get rich, famous, or even produce anything worthwhile. What you do know is that ignoring this urge to create isn’t making it go away. More and more people are heeding the call from within themselves to act upon their creative urges.

We have tons of ideas for stories, for songs, for decorating or creating in our homes, gardens, workplaces. We sense that there is something behind this creative urge, that expressing ourselves creatively may be the missing piece to a fulfilled life.

Creative expression, whether through mundane means or through art, is worth the effort. I coach writers and creative types, and have seen the difference in my clients’ lives when they are expressing themselves. I have compiled a list of benefits of expressing creativity that myself and others have experienced. Added up, they amount to a lot of benefits that might not make you a lot of money, but instead can give you a richer life.

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Transition Rituals for Creatives

You’re in the middle of writing the most fabulous paragraph when the phone rings. It’s your child’s school and you’ve forgotten to pick her up.

You leap up, caroming from blissful creative mode to full-on panic mode. You rush out the door, the cursor on your screen blinking, your creative bliss lost. We become grumpy, resentful and our desire to write dissipates.

Sound familiar? This wrenching transition style happens all too often. It’s one of the main reasons we fear entering the creative zone. We’re afraid we won’t be able to make a graceful return to the ordinary world where our real-world obligations await us.  Going in and out of this magical place can be jarring. The demands of life — children, housework, jobs, other people — are much different that the demands of the creative life.

It doesn’t have to be wrenching. Transitions between life and writing can be easy. But it requires some effort and some training on our part to make transitioning between our roles work for us.

How can writers and artists make the transition smooth and easy? I suggest ritualized acts help to honor the creative time. Below are ten transition methods that my clients have used successfully. Experiment to see which rituals work for you.

Free-writing offers a quick way to move from one thing to the next. Limber up your brain and word flow with ten minutes of flow writing. You may write about your topic or about what you are transitioning out of, as a way to release that role and focus on the writing role.

Read a short and inspirational passage from a book about writing or another inspiring text. Better yet, read the last things you wrote and pick up from there.

Create a mantra or saying that helps you to step into creativity. “I honor my creative time” or “Welcome to the creative zone” or something that suits you. Feel free to make a sign and post it in your writing zone.

Tune in to music to train yourself to easily access the writing zone. Try playing the same music when you write or have a handful of inspiring tunes ready. Mozart’s music is known to stimulate creativity and brain power. I have also used the relaxing Hemi-Sync sounds when writing my novel to help me access the flow state.

Take a walk before or after you write. Get your body moving and let your mind wander. You may pick up some fresh ideas along the way, so bring a small notebook or have your digital device ready to capture your brilliance.

Prepare your writing space. When things are in order and ready for you, it is easier to jump into the flow. End your writing sessions a few minutes early and take that time to tidy your writing zone.

Create your insertion point. At the end of every writing session, pinpoint where you will start the next session. This will save you so much time and help you move past any emotions that may try to dissuade you from writing.

Do some stretching or other physical activity. Prepare your body to sit still for longer periods of time. This will serve you both going into and coming out of the creative zone.

Say a prayer or take time to meditate or be still. Accessing a deeper, sacred space can help you to swim in the creative pool more easily.

Honor the boundaries you have set up around your writing. If you have communicated that you are unavailable, do not be available. Turn off your phone and put it out of reach.

What helps you transition into and out of creative mode? Share your transition rituals in a comment below. 

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The Best Use of Rejection Letters

If you’re in the writing game, you’ve got them. They weigh a ton, those form letters, graciously declining your novel, screenplay, chapbook, self-help book. They’re the letters that swing through your mailbox, hitting you in the gut like a sledgehammer. No, they don’t want your precious creative offspring, no matter how much time and love you’ve poured onto its pages. But there’s a positive side to this emotional and creative devastation.

Rejection letters mean you’re trying. It means you’ve completed a work and have hoinked up a bucket of courage and are putting yourself out there. And you deserve something for that. A little perk, a way to realize that despite the pain of the rejection letters, you’re actually doing very well, thank you.

If you’re sprightly lucky, someone has written a personal note regarding your piece. Something beyond the platitudes about your possible success elsewhere. Something that you can hang on to. No, not the “pacing was slow and wandering” part. (I cling to that enough, playing with it like a Rubik’s cube in the middle of the night, trying to puzzle out what the agent was really saying.) It’s the other stuff, the good stuff.

“Your novel’s detailed, moody descriptions set the tone for the setting and time so well, and Lily is an engaging and lovable protagonist.”

The good stuff. It deserves its own line. Here’s what I suggest.

If you’re gleaning rejection letters, congratulate yourself for even trying. Then start culling out those kind gems, no matter how small they may seem. Put them all in one file. Use quotation marks and attribute the quotes to the agency or publisher who rejected you.

Voila – a lovely testimonial sheet for when you feel dejected about the future life of your baby. Post it where you can see it and remember that your work is good. Don’t give up.

Oh, and the testimonial sheet will make you feel quite smug when your work does get published. You can feel sorry for all those people who didn’t embrace your work the first time around.

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Ten Rejection Rituals

Rejection hurts – there’s no doubt abut it. But there are ways to deal with it so you don’t feel like a victim.  Shifting your perspective about rejection can be a huge help. Actually doing something about rejection can make it even easier to bear the pain of having your writing rejected. Here are a few rituals, or acts, that you can do to move forward from the big bad No!.

1. Write an encouraging letter to yourself. Remind yourself why you write and that it is worth any suffering.

2. Write another letter that expresses your emotions to the rejecting editor (then throw it away).

3. Revisit a former writing success such as a contest won or a prior publication. Gloat over your previous victories and know that they are just the beginning of your success.

4. Spend some time free writing on your experience with rejection. Start with the prompt, when I was rejected….

5. Throw a tantrum. Grab a big pillow and pummel it with all the force of your disappointment and anger behind it. Rant and rave about the unfairness of it all.

6. Exercise. Go for a walk or a run or a bike ride, or whatever you do to get into your body. Offer up your sweat to the rejection.

7. Some people save their rejection letters. You may want to add it to a file or…

8. Burn the rejection letter, and with it, all the disappointment.

9. Call a writer friend and tell them about the rejection. You may ask them to recount your strengths as a writer and a person. Make sure this friend is able to offer unconditional reassurance as part of your rejection ritual.

10. Do any of the above rituals and then get back to whatever you were writing. You must keep going!

What are your methods for handling rejection? Add your comments here.