Rejection hurts – there’s no doubt abut it. But there are ways to deal with it so you don’t feel like a victim. Shifting your perspective about rejection can be a huge help. Actually doing something about rejection can make it even easier to bear the pain of having your writing rejected. Here are a few rituals, or acts, that you can do to move forward from the big bad No!.
1. Write an encouraging letter to yourself. Remind yourself why you write and that it is worth any suffering.
2. Write another letter that expresses your emotions to the rejecting editor (then throw it away).
3. Revisit a former writing success such as a contest won or a prior publication. Gloat over your previous victories and know that they are just the beginning of your success.
4. Spend some time free writing on your experience with rejection. Start with the prompt, when I was rejected….
5. Throw a tantrum. Grab a big pillow and pummel it with all the force of your disappointment and anger behind it. Rant and rave about the unfairness of it all.
6. Exercise. Go for a walk or a run or a bike ride, or whatever you do to get into your body. Offer up your sweat to the rejection.
7. Some people save their rejection letters. You may want to add it to a file or…
8. Burn the rejection letter, and with it, all the disappointment.
9. Call a writer friend and tell them about the rejection. You may ask them to recount your strengths as a writer and a person. Make sure this friend is able to offer unconditional reassurance as part of your rejection ritual.
10. Do any of the above rituals and then get back to whatever you were writing. You must keep going!
What are your methods for handling rejection? Add your comments here.
Funny, this rejection is about it coming from a publisher.
This morning an old friend that I wanted to spend some more time with, told me she did not have time for me and that other things in her life were a priority. Now as a coach I am so proud of her for know what is a prioroty including her writing, her family herself. On some level, I am saying Go Girl. On another level, I feel hurt, not good enough, lonely. I guess I am gld that our relationship is one that she can honestly tell me what is going on and that she can express it openly. Still sort of hurts…So many perspectives to come from. I chse to respond with the Go Girl message to her, yet I am still allowing my gremlins to run around and have fun with it. This feels good. Well enough of this and I shall seek other friends who do have some time to spend…
Wow – great point about rejection coming from other sources. I still encourage you to develop a way to work through it. You did – responding to the friend. Now, what can you do to respond to the gremlins? What’s true about you being not good enough, lonely? Look at your gremlins and ask what is true about their comments. Then, make a plan to give yourself what you need that your gremlins are bringing attention to.
Hope this helps!
Cynthia