Original Impulse HomepageOriginal Impulse

The Writing Life

by 15 Comments

Twenty Gifts from Twenty Years of Writing

Twenty years ago this month, in a room just a mile from where I write now, I committed to my writing life.

It started with a class called Writing the Wild Woman. In it, I learned how to free-write, how to howl after writing (it’s fun, try it) and how to enjoy the company of other writers.

Despite the fun, I was also plagued with doubt and insecurity. I feared that a) I had nothing to say and b) my writing would suck.

So I set myself a challenge.

My five-year writing apprenticeship

I decided to write for five years as if it would never be seen by anyone else. I wouldn’t worry about whether it was good or whether it was publishable.
For five years, I filled journals, did writing exercises, took classes and began to teach writing classes. Now, this seems like a long time to dwell in the apprentice’s studio. But it worked.

At the end of five years of genre exploration, I began publishing monthly articles in two Denver neighborhood papers. At that time, I also dove into a major project: my historical novel, which was published 13 years later.

This month I celebrate my twenty-year commitment to the art of writing. I’ve published a novel, a book about writing and five e-books. I’ve published my newsletter since 2001 and have been a consistent blogger since 2006.

I’ve written hundreds of thousands of words, some private, some published. I claim every cliché, crappy word choice and inelegant sentence. I own every brilliant point, every potent metaphor, every sentence that moved someone, somehow.

Writing isn’t easy. I am humbled by the work. But despite the challenges, I’ve gleaned many rewards.

Twenty gifts writing has given me

1. Grit, aka persistence.
2. Self-respect.
3. A way to influence others positively.
4. Self-knowledge.
5. Awareness of my expertise.
6. A personal growth ally.
7. A quick, cheap way to have fun.
8. A community of smart, creative friends.
9. Power.
11. A lifelong awareness practice.
12. Self-compassion for my hopes and dreams.
13. Humility.
14. A constantly-replenished love of language.
15. Knowledge that showing up really is 80% of the game.
16. Confidence.
17. An art form that keeps me on my toes.
18. Clarity.
19. A willingness to be surprised by what comes from my pen.
20. Thick skin.
21. Love.

What I’m writing now

These days, another art form accompanies my writing. Since 2008, I’ve been cheating on writing with my side art: drawing and painting. My current challenge is to discover how to marry writing and art to share what’s true for me.

This month, on my twenty-year anniversary, I am embarking on a new book project. I have a mastermind group devoted to book writing – I call it our private book club. I’m excited about this book, because it will challenge me at every step, and because I think you’ll love it.

It’s odd to celebrate an anniversary with a beginning, but I like it. I empathize more with my students, many at the beginning of their writing lives, having the same doubts I have about writing.

More gifts every day from my writing life

I could go on and on about how my devotion to the craft of writing has formed me. But I hope this has inspired you to want to go write your own words.

This is one of the exercises I ask my clients to do – go back in the time machine and look at all you’ve done. It can be illuminating to assess all the effort you’ve put into your art.

Which of the twenty gifts listed would you like to know more about? In a comment below, tell me which ones you’re curious about and think would help you with your own writing life. 

by 4 Comments

Want to write a book? Answer these questions first

When someone discovers that I help people write books, she usually asks me how to get on track and stay focused until the book is finished.

Before I can respond, I have to ask them some questions. I never want to make assumptions about the author’s motivations.

If you’re considering writing a book, take some time to write your answers to my coaching inquiries. This will help clarify your motivation for any major project. Your answers will help you decide whether you should do it or shelve the idea.

  • What’s important for you about finishing this book?
  • Who is this book for, specifically?
  • What impact do you want this book to have on your readers?
  • What impact do you want for you and your work?
  • What kind of help do you need now to get started and stay on track?

Self-publish or traditionally publish?

Based on your answers, you can look at the self-publishing possibility. This is a very personal decision and is largely based on whether you have a large enough platform to attract the interest of an agent and publisher. If the word ‘platform’ is not familiar to you, it’s likely self-publishing will be your route.

That’s a generalized statement. Each author has to choose her own path based on her answers to the questions I pose above. I love helping my clients sort out which direction is right for them.

by 8 Comments

Why write?

Many writers are writing books or articles with a purpose. Perhaps the book will help your business. Perhaps the stories will help others. Perhaps the story is one that you just feel must be told, whether it’s fiction or non-fiction.

I understand this, and know that it’s good to have a clear motivation for writing. Often we need to stay connected with this motivation as a way to keep the inner critic at bay.

But when working with writers, I always invite them to pay attention to the experience of writing. What does writing do for you now? Despite any future payoff, how does writing  impact your life?

Many people feel a sense of satisfaction. Others feel revitalized by their writing. Many of us adore the feeling of going somewhere in our minds, of using our imagination to transcend the mundane.

There are a million reasons to write or create. You are entitled to have whatever reason motivates you.
And you’re also allowed to do it just because you like it. Because it feels good. Not because it will make you rich, famous or respected. Just because it’s fun.

This week, I invite the kind witness into your creative practice. Simply notice how you feel when you are creating. Notice how you feel afterward. Be aware of what it’s like when you don’t create or feel connected to your creative work.

In my class The Devoted Writer, at the end of each writing session, I invite writers to jot three words that describe how that session was for them. This simple reflective practice helps them see exactly what the writing does for them. Try this and see what you notice.

I’d love to know – even if it’s just a few words – why you create. Share a comment below.

by 5 Comments

Unconventional Advice for Getting Creatively Unstuck

You’ve heard the advice:

Just do it.
Schedule creative time in.
Make a plan and stick to it.

This is all good advice…unless for you, it’s not. I’ve built my coaching business not on pat advice for all, but on training creative people to learn what works for them. Here’s a peek into four unconventional methods I offer my clients.

Let the body lead. It’s so easy to override the messages our bodies tell us. When to eat. When to take a break from the screen. When to get some air in our thought process. When to take a nap. But the body, if we pay attention, is an excellent leader.

Pretend you’re not wrong. This isn’t designed to foster arrogance and self-righteousness. Instead, it’s meant to let you off the hook from being a screw up. We waste so much mental and emotional energy making ourselves wrong for our choices. We’re not doing it right. We should be better than this. Etc. Etc. Experiment with this: for a week, act as if your choices around your creative work are not wrong.

Do nothing. It’s often when we take space from focused work that new ideas or solutions arise. Yet it’s difficult to relax the constant tug of ambition or ‘shoulds’. Time and again, when we give ourselves space to accomplish nothing, that answers and insights arise. I know this is common advice, but how often are you willing to actually act on it?

Make a manual. This exercise is one my clients embrace with joy. Write or draw or mind map a manual for your creative self. Call it Care and Feeding of the Artist Manual. In it, include all the things you feel are important to maintaining your creative sanity and vitality. This will give you information about what works for you and what doesn’t.

What helps you get unstuck? Have you tried any of these methods? Leave a comment below to share your unsticking strategies. 

by 2 Comments

9 Reasons You Must Write

You’re probably no stranger to the ‘challenges’  of the writing life. It’s a bit of a fool’s journey, isn’t it?

The work is difficult. Chances at fame and monetary success are slim. Friends and family wonder why you spend so much time working on something that doesn’t pay you back. Even you sometimes suspect you’re crazy.

Despite the difficulties, I take a stand for each and every one of us writing fools.

Because writing pays you back. I’ve seen it again and again with my students and clients. Writing is a gateway drug you’ll never regret.

Why I care that you write

I believe if you have the impulse to write, you must follow it. You wouldn’t choose this path. The urge to write isn’t something you control. You just feel it. So follow it.

In my writing classes, I give the prompt ‘I write because’. Writing for 15 minutes on this topic is often enough to reignite someone’s motivation to write. A satisfying writing practice follows from there.

If you’re someone who has been sitting on her hands, silencing her voice and not writing, I offer nine reasons why you must write.

Because it feels good. If you’ve ever caught the groove of the keyboard or pen across the page, you’ll know the breathless exhilaration writing can give. You can do that to yourself without spending any money?! Creative jollies for free! Who wouldn’t take that up?

Because you have something to say. Author Brenda Ueland believed that “Everyone is talented, original and has something important to say.” Believe it’s worth your time to get words on the page.

Because you’re curious to see what emerges from your pen and heart. And that curiosity must be satisfied for you to feel right in the world.

Because writing introduces you to your true self. Writing offers a transformative process similar to sharing with a friend or counselor. When you write, you may feel a sense of being heard – by yourself, at least. And aren’t you the one you most need to know and trust?

Because writing is a change agent leading you in positive directions in your life. You can’t help but notice the dusty corners of your psyche that need tidying up and the things you can no longer tolerate. Taking up the pen is taking up the sword in defense of a life you actually want to live.

Because it’s fun. Often in free writing, fictional stories will emerge from our pens. Free writing frees us to explore, play and enjoy a limitless freedom of our imagination. This is the giggly part of writing; not to be missed.

Because it frees you. You deserve to live without the weight of procrastination. Instead, you get to feel the exhilaration of your own creative flow. You get to move, and do things and share your world through your words.

Because it’s healthy to express ourselves. I was in the audience at a conference when Breneé Brown said “unexpressed creativity is not a benign force’. Tears flowed down my face. I’d known all along that our creativity is as vital to our health as is good food and exercise. To hear it validated by a researcher added wind to my wings.

Because you can. Freedom of speech is no small boon – take it and use it.

Add your own tenth reason for writing. Set a timer for 10 minutes, and using the prompt I write because…write your heart out.

Join us to write in February

I could go on and on about how much we gain from having a committed writing practice. I want everyone to have this fun and powerful practice.

Freewriting forms the basis of all I write. I’ve helped hundreds of people use freewriting to write books, blogs, articles, and the deeply poignant personal writing that leads to more, better writing.

Ready to have writing as your ally this year? Join us for The Devoted Writer. Throughout February we will write, write, write, at least 15 minutes a day. Together we’ll initiate a new relationship with our writing and with ourselves.

Join us here. And use one of the share buttons below to let your friends in on the fun.

by 1 Comment

Just Keep Showing Up

Every morning, I leave the comfort of bed, make a visit to the bathroom and then take a seat on a cushion. I set a timer for 15 minutes, offer a brief prayer, and try to sit still until the timer goes off.

I’ve been doing this since November 6th, 2012. On the advice of my mentor Jonathan Fields and my friend Kristoffer Carter, I took up meditation. I can’t point to any specific results of this practice. I can’t say I’m a better, more calm person. But I can say that I keep showing up for myself, and that feels good.

Meditation instructor Susan Piver helped guide my practice. She insists that sitting meditation isn’t about quieting the mind. It’s about being with ourselves, being with our mind as it is. With compassion and attention.

This no-judgement practice has allowed me to keep showing up. The only goal: sit down and show up. Even a year into it, I haven’t applied any specific goals other than that. I don’t demand quiet. I don’t deride myself for thinking about episodes of Breaking Bad. I just show up.
The best thing about this meditation practice is that it’s become a habit. A habit is something you do almost without choosing. You just do. The relief and pleasure I feel from this routine that starts my day is great. I don’t have to decide. I don’t have to worry about missing it or forgetting it. It’s as much a part of the day as visiting the bathroom – I just do it.

What does this have to do with the creative life? This is the kind of practice I want my students and clients to cultivate. I urge them to keep showing up, without judgement, without an agenda that chokes the vitality of the work.

I’m not concerned about a good meditation session or a bad one. It’s almost as if every session is the same. The only thing that counts is that I show up.

The same is true for writing or art making. Keep showing up. Let what happens in the session have its own vitality, its own say.

I kept showing up for my novel, draft after draft. It took 12 years, but finally all my efforts culminated in something worth publishing.

How do you keep showing up for your writing or art making? How often can you leave the judge behind to simply and humbly bear witness to your creative impulses? Share your experience in a comment below of the practices that guide your creative life.

Practice with us

Starting today, I’m leading a group of writers around the world in a daily practice. We write every day for 15 minutes, using a verbal and visual prompt. This online writing class, The Devoted Writer, is one of my favorite things to lead.

It’s not too late to join this writing class. Your new writing friends are waiting to welcome you to this practice of showing up for your words.

by 4 Comments

Get Ready to Feel More Sane and Creatively Rich

I got a lot of great feedback from this article I posted in last week’s Impulses, my private newsletter for creative dynamos. (Not a subscriber? Get in here, you! Sign up over there to the right.)

One simple practice has become one of my best allies for work and creative satisfaction. In all the years I’ve been coaching creative people, I’ve learned that bringing this simple yet vital missing piece makes all the difference.

What’s the trick? It’s a little bit of space/time on a regular basis. 

Raise your hand if you pack your days with more than you can actually handle. Don’t worry, I won’t judge. I call this misplaced optimism. Given our exuberant natures, we want to do so much. We think we can squeeze one more thing in between tasks.

But this doesn’t work so well, does it? We end up feeling rushed and scattered and often late.
I propose something else: take time back by giving yourself 15 minutes a day for something that actually fuels you. Some possibilities for fifteen minute pauses:

  • meditate to start the day or as a transition between activities
  • play with your art supplies, sketching, coloring or collaging
  • visualize what you want to manifest, either in your mind or on paper
  • leave early so you don’t rush and arrive like the richest person in the world – with time to spare
  • spend some time in nature, even if it’s just with a houseplant
  • free write on your current state of mind or on a project you’re working on.

I’ve found answers, insights, calm, contentedness and more in these fifteen minutes.

You may be shaking your head, oh, no, I don’t have fifteen extra minutes. But if you can’t slow down a bit every day, what are you missing? What are you avoiding?

I assert we don’t have to be constantly running and going and doing. If you are an artist or writer or entrepreneur, it’s ESSENTIAL to take space. If you’re like me, you know that when we have space, our best ideas can bloom. And we feel more sane and creatively abundant.

Do you do this practice or a similar one? Leave a comment below and let us know how this impacts your happiness and creativity.

by 2 Comments

Devotion Transforms Your Work

I just finished reading Julia Child’s book My Life in France. What a delightful book – I soaked it up in 4 days while on vacation. I highly recommend it.
MyLifeinFranceWho wouldn’t adore Julia Child? This plucky American discovered a love for cooking whilst living in Paris and got so enamored of it she ended up devoting her life to teaching others about French food. She wrote several books, launched a popular TV show, and in short, changed the world of food.
All because she was in love with her subject.
It all sounds so easy and breezy when I write about it, but Julia worked her you-know-what off to write that first book. It took a good nine years to get Mastering the Art of French Cooking out.
Why?
Was she slouching around Europe with her husband, Paul?
Was she going back and forth and back and forth with her co-author?
Was she blowing off writing sessions to watch TV?
No. Well, yes to the first two. The last – TV – she barely even knew existed.
It took so long to write this book because Julia was so darn into what she was doing. She was ruthlessly methodical about getting every recipe, every description, every photo just right. Some might deride this level of fastidiousness. Just move on already!
But it was this level of love and commitment to excellence that made the book an instant bestseller. All those hours hunched over the stove and typewriter represented true devotion. Julia gave her all to the work, and when the cookbook came out, the world responded to her devotion.
This, I believe, is what makes great books. Not weekend workshops where you whip out a shaggy draft and call it a book. Not hacks that help you feel yore gaming the process. Not whips and chains and all the other things we associate with disciplining ourselves to DO THE WORK. Julia2
It comes down to love. Pure, fiery love and commitment to the core of the thing. I felt this when writing my novel about Sylvia Beach. I respected her so much and was so enamored of her story, I was willing to do whatever it took to tell her (and my) story.
What about you? What are you devoted to enough to give it your all, and then some? Are you writing a book and wondering where you’re going to find the juice to get it over the finish line?
It doesn’t have to take a decade to write your book. But it will help to accept that it will take as long as it takes.
Maybe Julia inspires you like she does me. Maybe you have your own hero who leads you to do your best. To dig a little deeper and discover that you have an even better best inside you. Whatever it is, find the thing you love and devote yourself to it. Because this approach to creating may change the world, and it will definitely transform you.

Finish Your Book Coaching Group starts next week

If you’re writing a book and not making the progress you want, join us in Finish Your Book coaching group that’s devoted to people ready, willing and able to get their books done. Join us now.

by Leave a Comment

Focus & Inspiration: How to Respect Both to Get Your Creative Work Done

Inspiration and focus: two constantly battling siblings.

Inspiration is the fickle sister in the creative process. She shows up often, demanding attention, then flits off, rarely staying to see her inspiration to completion.

No doubt you have felt the heady breath of inspiration in your ear. You may hurry toward the vision that she showered upon you only to lose interest, tickled perhaps by another visit from inspiration.

How to harness the thrill of a new idea and carry it to completion?

Focus is the responsible sister in the creative process. She requires that we shut out distractions. She shuns worry and fears. With a firm hand, she invites us to step into the magical act of creating.

We don’t really like her until we’re deep into the writing. Then we love her, call her flow, and never want to leave her.

How to stay committed to the one that gives so much?

Are you often torn between these two siblings of the creative process? Does this battle make it hard to get anything done?
My clients and students struggle to find the focus to sit down and do their best creative work. It’s getting more and more difficult for all of us to focus our attention. Our focus is pulled in hundreds of directions every day. E-mails, social media, work, creative projects, food, relationships, all demand our attention.

Doing big work like writing a book or completing a body of art work demands tremendous focus. I’ve helped my clients discover what works to wrangle their attention to what matters. Here’s what we practice that helps us get our important work done.

1. Capture inspiration. When other ideas show up demanding your attention, make note of them in a separate notebook or file. Appreciate your enthusiasm and return to your main project. If you capture them, your ideas will be there later.

2. Get regular. Dedicate a specific time and place to work on your project. If a regular routine isn’t possible, make consistency your goal. Consistently put the important work first on your agenda.

3. Announce your intention. Let your people know what you are up to. Request that they honor your intention to focus and complete your book, giving you what space and time you need. Telling them “I’m on deadline,” helps you stay on track and lets them know you’re serious about your book.

4. Know your truth. Stay connected to your motivation for writing the book. This will help you make choices to honor your long-term commitment.

5. Get support. Who else has done what you want to do? Who is doing it now? A buddy, a friend in the same boat, or a coach (or all three!) can help you stay aligned with your vision.

6. Pay attention to your attention. Notice the impact different acts have on your focus. Social media time or internet wandering dissipates our focus. When we start our day turned out to the world, wrestling our focus back to our projects can be difficult.

What helps you develop a good working relationship between these two siblings in the creative process? Leave a comment below and share what works for you.

And if you found this article useful, share it with your friends so they can create more easily, too!

by Leave a Comment

Commitment Points Pave the Way to Completion

Our finished projects – books, business launches, bodies of artwork – are all paved with commitment points.
coaching books author Cynthia Morris illustration
You can see that many of my commitment points involved me realizing I needed help or a new approach. If you’re stuck with the book you’re writing – non-fiction or a novel – I can help.
Join me and other committed authors in my Finish Your Book Coaching Group. We begin on September 11th. You will love how this group helps you focus on what’s important to you – finishing your book.
Early registration discount ends on September 1st, so snag your spot today. 

by Leave a Comment

The “F” Word Isn’t So Bad. Really.

Finish.
Oh, the dreaded ‘F’ word. ‘Finish’, along with ‘focus’ and ‘follow through’ are words that make creative types cringe.

Focus? Why? Living in the land of possibility is so much fun! I have so many great ideas, it’s really impossible to focus on only one.

Follow through? Groan. It’s much easier to entertain new and energizing ideas! I can’t get organized enough to follow through on project ideas.

Finish? Death! If I finish something, then I have to face the reality of whether it’s any good or not – will anyone want my work?

If you’re familiar with these obstacles to completing projects, you’re probably less familiar with the boons on the other side of the finish line. Deep satisfaction, pride, recognition, and yes, possibly cash money await you if you can bring your creative baby to completion.

Quit being a cringer and become a finisher. Here are the five essential steps to carry your brilliant ideas all the way home.

One: Identify Your Motivation

Start becoming a great finisher by doing some soul-searching. In a notebook or computer file, write out an answer to this question:

What is important about becoming someone who finishes?

Understanding your unique motivation for staying through the entire process is an essential piece of the puzzle. Get clear on what’s important about finishing. You may come back and add more as your motivation becomes more apparent to you.

Craft that motivation into one sentence that you keep nearby when you’re creating. A single affirmation or reminder of your commitment can do a lot toward achieving the finishing line. Develop your own version of the Little Red Engine’s mantra: “I think I can, I think I can!”

Two: Commit to a Project

You most likely have a number of projects in various stages of completion. These ideas marinate in your mind, spoiling as you become overwhelmed and distracted by your creative inspiration. It becomes easier to let them fall to the side rather than make choices to commit to one project after another.

When you decide to be a completer, you need to choose where you will focus your time and energy. You will be tempted to work on several projects at once. This is fine, if you manage to follow through and finish at least some of them. (I don’t recommend this until you can call yourself a serial finisher.)

Three: Build Structure

External structures help you stay organized and focused. You will need to learn what works for you, but you’ll have to commit to structures like deadlines, timelines and accountability. Your inner saboteur will pipe in with notions like “I’m not a deadline person,” or “Lists don’t work for me.”
Take this as normal resistance that surfaces when you try something different. Sometimes creative people think they need to be free and flexible, but the truth is that structure allows creativity to flow. Creative people actually like structure, for it gives them the needed focus to bring their ideas into form.

Four: Stay on Track

Getting clear on your motivation, committing to a project and developing a plan of action are the first three crucial steps. Staying with your project to completion is critical to becoming a completer. As Molly Ivins wrote, you need to “dance with them that brought you.”

Don’t flirt with your other ideas once you’ve committed to go all the way with one. You’ll need to develop your creative stamina, hone your emotional intelligence, and stay connected to all the previous reminders about why you’re doing your project and what’s your payoff for finishing.

Five: Acknowledge and Celebrate Completion

This final step is often overlooked. After all that work, we skip the fun part! But it’s important to put this into the creative cycle. Too often, we rush to the next thing, overriding the need to acknowledge our efforts.

Before you pop the cork on the champagne bottle, take some time to acknowledge what it took to get here. Take the opportunity to learn about your creative style and what it takes to bring your projects to fruition. Acknowledging and celebrating will help you build confidence to complete future projects.

Most of us want to finish. The work required to finish is nothing compared to the real cringer when we think about all those once-wonderful projects that are now abandoned on the back burner, hidden in the bottom drawer, or lurking on the garage shelf, gathering dust and silently mocking us and our supposedly brilliant ideas.

Knowing the five steps is one thing. Taking them is another. Do yourself a favor: stop cringing and start finishing.

Check out my book, Cross the Finish Line and let go of cringing about the ‘F’ word.

by 14 Comments

Video Book Review: Daily Rituals: How Artists Work by Mason Currey

I’ve been reading a ton of great books lately, and this summer I’ll share what I’ve gleaned from the creativity books I love to consume.
This week’s video review: Daily Rituals: How Artists Work by Mason Currey.

One line review summary: Read this book for entertainment, not for how-to advice.
I’m giving away a copy of this adorable and entertaining book. Simply tell us about a daily ritual that you do that helps you be more creatively satisfied.
Leave a comment here at the Original Impulse blog by Friday, June 21st at noon MT to be entered into a drawing to win.

by Leave a Comment

Are you tinkering or forging ahead?

Sometimes we get caught tinkering with the known. Tweaking code. Revising the first 30 pages endlessly. Painting the same subject again and again.
This is not creativity at its best.
Cynthia Morris illustration coaching creativity
I know what helps me forge ahead into lands of discovery and insight: free writing. This simple method popularized by Natalie Goldberg, helps writers of all levels and genres – even people who don’t want to write but need to for work – to get out of the known and forge ahead into creative territory.
My popular online writing class is a safe place to write your way forward. Join us every day in May to write your way to your future.
What helps you forge ahead into new territory?

by 10 Comments

How to write books and articles more quickly

All of my clients bump up against the frustration of how long it takes to write. Because we can access and send things at lightning speed, we think we should be able to write and create that quickly. But writing remains a slow process. Especially a book: this requires deep thinking and space to hash out and develop our ideas.

I think what you’re looking for is more efficiency so you can make the most of your writing time. You can set yourself up to write more efficiently. The main work is knowing your own style and systems and sticking to them without wavering.

 

Here are seven suggestions for feeling like you are mapping and writing with more efficiency and momentum: [Read more…] about How to write books and articles more quickly

by 4 Comments

Your Best, Most Awesome Self Is Screwing You Up

You’re a word person – you love writing, playing with language, moving words around to create the most perfect sentences, your best paragraphs and your most awesome stories, books, or blog posts.

You love getting things right – creating the ideal environment in which to write, setting up the perfect scenario to get your projects done, and celebrating in the ultimate, delicious way. You always give it your best effort.
What’s wrong with this picture?

Your superlatives are killing you.

In our minds, there exists this wonderful landscape. In it, we’re at our optimal weight and body mass index. We make the most efficient use of our time. We do our very best in our work, our relationships and with our creative projects.

In reality, we can’t live up to this superlative lifestyle. We work hard, we open ourselves to learning and growth. But we don’t ever operate in a best, perfect or ideal scenario.

We battle our inner critic. We struggle to stay focused. We hack away at our calendars to carve out even the smallest amount of time to write our book. The dog barfs on our notebooks. Traffic makes us late. Life is always throwing curveballs at our superlative dreams.

That’s the first problem with superlatives – they don’t match the world we live in. The second problem? When it comes time to asses whether we’ve done our best or had the perfect experience, our brains seem to throw up road blocks. Try it.
Who is your favorite author? 

I’ll wait while you think about that.

What happened? Chances are, your mind accesses a slew of authors and when you had several in mind, you were unable to quantify favorite. Your mind did loops justifying why each one was your favorite.

(If you were able to name just one person, kudos. You probably don’t have trouble choosing which project to focus on, what to order off the menu, or what to wear. You are gifted in focus, so enjoy it.)

You will do this when trying to list your favorite moments and enumerate your best wins and your shining successes. With superlatives as your compass, you won’t be able to fully absorb the nutrients of your success.

We go through again and again: this superlative lifestyle is always out of reach in our imagination. We don’t know how, really, to quantify ‘best’. We don’t even know when we’ve done our very best. Superlative lifestyle leaves us in an endless loop of striving and dissatisfaction.

Superlatives may seem good and useful, but rarely can we measure our lives and creative efforts by them.

Tell me – does this superlative lifestyle screw you up? Or do words like ‘best’, ‘favorite’ and ‘perfect’ help you feel creatively inspired? Dish in a comment below; I’d love to know what you think about this.