Can You Care Too Much?

You’ve probably heard about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic – coming from an internal force and extrinsic – coming from an external force. Everyone has her or his own drive for doing something.

When it comes to our creative projects, I’ve always asked my clients to connect with their intrinsic motivation. We may not know the outcome of writing a book or producing a body of art. The payoff for that may be a long way down the road. So it makes sense to me that we need an inner flame, a deep and true spark that aligns with our values and what we love.

When something is this meaningful to us, we care. We care a lot. We want our book or our work to be good. We want big things for the work and for ourselves.

Unfortunately, sometimes this deep meaning can tip over into too much caring! The stake that we are a stand for becomes stakes that are too high. Our ‘why’ becomes too big and our dreams for our writing tip us into fear mode. Next thing you know, we’re immobilized and the thing that was once so dear to our heart becomes a fear in the gut.

As I prepare to publish my book, I’ve noticed how I tip toward caring too much. Fear creeps in when I think of the publication date. Even though I have written and published many books, each time I am called to bolster my courage. I’m asked to keep the focus on what I want for the book and the world, not on me and my ego.

We all have fears about whether our projects will be good and whether the world will receive it. We put so much into our work, and we want it to succeed. Yet the true work of creating and sharing our work is to not fall prey to our fears. To keep meaning solidly in place and fear in its place.

My clients have found it helpful to hold the vision intact for the project, and also to release expectation. Once we put the work into the world, it’s out of our hands. The world will rise up to meet it in whatever way it does.

It’s an odd blend of hope and non-attachment. This is something we have to practice every day.

What works for you to hold a clear sense of meaning and also release fears and expectations? Share your thoughts below.