Like many creative types, I used to be really inept with money. I mean ostrich-like, avoiding the realities of finance. In the early days of building my business, I’d put things on credit cards. I had no financial plan. I had no financial sense at all.
Every time I thought, “I should do something about my money situation” a cloud of righteous anger would rise up. I’d huff and puff that someone should have taught me about personal finance. We all should be taught about personal finance.
And then I’d do nothing. This hiding from money was squelching my creativity, coloring my relationships, and holding me back.
Does this happen to you regarding money (or any issue) – you want to change, and then an emotional cloud overcomes you and paralyzes you?
I say it’s time to start using our emotions instead of letting them stop us.
How I changed my financial life
Finally, I changed my mind about money. I decided that I am smart and that I love to learn. I decided to teach myself how to be financially empowered.
I set out on a self-directed course I called Financial Empowerment. I used two things to change my relationship with money:
- Books
- Conversation
Now, books and conversations may not seem like strong enough tools to change my outlook with money, but they were. Here’s what I did.
I read every book on money I could get my hands on. I did the exercises. I learned new terms and saw where I needed help.
But reading wasn’t enough. I needed to talk about this. In other areas of my life, I’d benefited from peer-led mastermind groups. Regular meetings to discuss a specific topic and to hold each other accountable can be incredibly strong.
Gather a Rich Women Group of Your Own
So I rallied several friends who also wanted to be better with money. Four of us met monthly for several years. We called ourselves Rich Women. We:
- read a book each month and discussed it.
- used an exercise in Smart Women Finish Rich to identify our financial goals
- held each other accountable to make progress on our goals.
- kept our own money journals where we tracked our processes.
- kept track of the unexpected boons that came our way as a result of our efforts.
Those conversations – real, honest, full of numbers conversations – changed the way I thought, felt and acted around money. The shame over my financial mismanagement dissolved.
Over the course of several years, I:
- cleared $24,000 in debt
- got health insurance
- opened a health savings account
- opened two retirement accounts
- increased my income
Lessons from Money
One of the biggest things I learned about money management is that every step is accompanied by a powerful emotion. This emotional cloud threatens to halt our efforts. But when I realized that emotions were part of the empowerment process, I didn’t let fear or shame stop me.
The other big thing I learned is that my relationship with money is an ongoing one. Money is a game we all get to play, every day of our lives, until we die.
Because I needed a financial tune-up, I recently worked with Luna Jaffe, author of Wild Money. Her combination of financial planner and artist helped me get past some issues that had crept back into my life.
Another new book, Money: A Love Story by Kate Northrup, is on my shelf and I can’t wait to read it.
That’s the biggest change I’ve experienced since getting financially empowered: I no longer dread money. I love money and money loves me. We’re having a great time together.
Here’s the best thing about being empowered around money: when I realized I could make this kind of change in an icky area of my life, I knew I could make change anywhere. The ’empowerment’ in ‘financial empowerment’ has changed how I live my whole life.
I invite you to rally your own Financial Empowerment Group. Because you deserve to be empowered here and everywhere in your life.
Books for your financial empowerment
There are a lot of books out there, but these are the ones I recommend the most:
Overcoming Underearning by Barbara Stanny – Exercises to deal with the emotions and beliefs that keep you stuck in a money rut.
Smart Women Finish Rich by David Bach Nuts and bolts of how to manage your finances.
Secrets of Six-Figure Women by Barbara Stanny – Inspiring stories of how women can earn a lot of money, but at the end we discover they don’t manage their money well.
The Energy of Money by Maria Nemeth – Similar to Overcoming Underearning but a bit longer and more complex.
New books I recommend:
Wild Money by Luna Jaffe
Money: A Love Story by Kate Northrup
How have you empowered yourself around money? Share in a comment below, because we’re here to get rich together!
In an upcoming post I’ll share some tips for how to have a peer group that works, for money or any other topic.